I use the TIP iceberg to think about 1:1s with my reports:
- Trust sits at the base.
- Information moves through the middle.
- Progress is the part above the waterline.
Progress gets the most attention because it is easy to see. Someone shipped the work, learned a skill, or got past a blocker. Trust and information sit below the surface, but they support everything that happens above it.
The recurring invite reserves time on the calendar. I still have to decide how to use that time with intention.
Trust is the base
A useful 1:1 needs psychological safety, honest feedback, and a sense that the meeting belongs to my report. I use the time to understand their motivation, energy, friction points, and career goals. Sometimes I make room for whatever has not shown up in a standup or sprint ritual.
I earn trust through my behavior over time. I protect the meeting, listen without rushing to defend myself, and follow through on commitments. My report pays attention to how I react when they bring me bad news or disagree with me. If I make those moments costly, they will think twice before sharing the next one.
I want to know where work feels heavier than it should, what they are excited about, and whether I am making their job harder. Those conversations help me understand the person behind the work.
Trust also changes the quality of feedback. Once someone feels safe enough to be candid, we can talk about the concern under the polite answer. I can give clearer coaching, and they can tell me where I need to adjust.
Information should flow both ways
I bring context that my reports may not have: changes in the business, product shifts, and signals from other parts of the organization. That context helps them understand why priorities changed and how their work connects to the wider picture.
Information needs to come back to me as well. My reports see risks, blockers, team health, and ideas that I cannot see from my seat. A 1:1 gives them space to share those signals before a small concern grows.
Project status can live in an async update or a planning ritual. During a 1:1, I want the signal behind the report. I want to hear where a decision feels unclear, where the team is losing energy, or which assumption no longer holds.
The two-way flow keeps me from managing with partial context. It also helps my reports make decisions without waiting for me to translate every change.
Progress is above the waterline
We are in the room to help someone move forward. That may mean delivery coaching, career growth, working through a tradeoff, or removing an obstacle.
I like each 1:1 to connect back to momentum:
- What are we unblocking?
- What are we growing?
- What is advancing?
Progress can be small. We may clarify an expectation, name a concern, or choose a next step. I keep notes and return to those threads in the next meeting. That continuity shows my report that I heard them and gives both of us a way to see movement over time.
Career conversations belong here too. I want to understand what someone wants to learn, where they want more exposure, and which kind of work gives them energy. We can then connect those goals to opportunities on the team instead of waiting for a performance review to talk about growth.
Intentionality connects the layers
I do a few minutes of preparation before a 1:1. I review my notes, check my open commitments, and think about what this person may need from me. I leave room for them to lead because it is their time too.
During the meeting, I use TIP as a check rather than a script. Do we have enough trust for an honest conversation? Are we sharing the information each of us needs? Did we help something move forward?
Afterward, I write down what I owe them and follow through. That part counts as much as the conversation. A thoughtful question loses value when I forget the answer or fail to act on it.
The TIP iceberg keeps me from focusing on visible output alone. I invest in trust, make information flow in both directions, and use that context to help someone make progress.
The calendar gives us the time. I owe the person more thought than showing up and hoping we find something useful to talk about.